Almost, but not completely unlike wine

Last night, in the same blind tasting that featured the 2002 Vega Sicilia I reported on here, I also had the displeasure to taste two of the most obscene concoctions that have ever been put into 750ml bottles.

I knew it was going to be bad when I picked up the bottles. The wrapping on the bottles could not conceal their weight. It was like lifting two boat anchors to pour inky black sludge into the glasses.

One sniff of the chocolate-blueberry milkshake with confected vanilla, and I was nearly down for the count. The first of the two wines was the worst. It had zero redeeming qualities, other than the alcoholic force almost rendered me unconscious. The second wine was not so vanilla focused, but tasted like a semi-dry, over-fortified Port candy. These were truly horrifying “wines” that only exist as some sort of Winetini to encourage inebriation at a very high cost.

The wines: 2012 El Nido “Clio” and 2011 El Nido “El Nido.”

Truly, truly horrifying stuff.

But those are 90+ point wines on cellar Tracker.

You must be wrong.

Dang, now I am curious. Are they worse than Caymus 40th?

The Clio was the worst wine I tried in 2015, by a wide margin.

Hey David! Was curious at first if these were actual concocted wines like chocovine, but no, I see they’re from Jumilla. I’ve always been a bit wary of Jumilla - I’ve enjoyed a number, but always with the knowledge that they were just a stones throw from OTT, and figured that there must be some that actually were. Thanks for saving us the trouble (seriously)! Your reward will be great in heaven . . . .

Different strokes, my friend. I know many a winemaker who ADORE those wines . . . .

I’ve luckily had a few aged versions - greater than 6 years - and they do improve with time, as the oak tends to integrate, at least partially.

That said, they are, to me, quite challenging to drink young . . .

You know, that inspires a thought: David, how do they compare to that 2003 Kirwan (that you so graciously sent me)?

Improve with time? From David’s note, they have nowhere to go but up!

The Kriwan was an elixir of the gods by comparison. These two wines were truly in some other class.

I agree with Bueker! What is going on?

Those wines are liquid vomit. Haven’t tasted in years but I can only assume they have gotten worse.

Happens once a decade!

They are better than vomit, but just barely.

Hmmm. I haven’t had the 2012, but I like Clio once in a while. Different strokes.

Are these El Nido wines WA darlings? I seem to recall that.

You mean, like, hot pepperoni vomit, or more mellow, like after eating too much undercooked sweet bread dough vomit?

i know a LOT of people who LOVE those wines. I had the 2012 and would not categorize it as horrible. It has a ton of oak, but give it some air or better yet, give it 10 years in the cellar to integrate. Not your style? I can see that. Certainly not Lyle’s style of a wine. I had an 02 and an 04 this year that were really nice. I was surprised how well the oak had integrated. YMMV.

Have not had the Clos du Val though so i can’t say.

Calling it like I see it. It’s not wine. It’s a wine-like cocktail. Throw some vodka in a milkshake. It’s much cheaper.

Sounds like it should be powering the Renault car of the same name!

Well all 'wine; is made by a ‘winemaker’, isn’t it? Including these two examples…

I have had the 2012 Clio served blind, and it was every bit as bad as David reported. That being said, the group of twelve was split 8 not liking it, of which 5 loathed it, and 4 who liked it, and two loved it. Nobody was indifferent.

First of all, David B. did not like Clio and el Nido. Duh! What a shock. I would never have given it to him except for comic value. Know your guests. Second, the wines deserve at least 8 years. The 2012 would be brutal at this point. And I am equally not shoocked that Mr. Pomegranate Smoothie did not like them either. As I have said many times, I am truly sad that their palates are so narrow that they cannot appreciate those wines.

At least we have Jay around to drink these travesties!