No red wine shall be served warmer than 68F/20C. If the establishment bills itself as a “wine bar” or otherwise holds itself out as wine centric, such temperature ceiling shall be 65F/18.5C. (Ideally it would be a bit cooler, but since we’re legislating, let’s leave a little breathing room. There will be a massive number infractions even at these thresholds.)
NYC-specific: Restrooms must be large enough to enter and exit without having to maneuver (a) around the door or (b) other patrons (i.e., squeeze behind the other guy who’s at the urinal between you and the unused urinal).
I’d like to see some standarization around what a pour is. It seems to me that there is more variability around that for dessert/sparkling wines.
I’d also like to see LESS regulation around liquor licenses. Come up with a set of statutes for what one has to do to serve, and then let businesses decide if they want to participate. A license (to me) shouldn’t turn into a de facto monopoly ticket to rentier parasitic profits.
Totally agree. It’s super embarrassing when I have to lay down on that little space between the sinks with my chubby legs in the air. People are waiting to wash their hands, the door is swinging open…total nightmare.
I’m gonna say “no use of the royal ‘We’ when addressing diners”. E.g: “what are we having tonight”.
Also, because I have an acquaintance who does this; “no public FB posting of all of the things that diners do to annoy you.”
No topping off wine or coffee without asking
Write the bleeping order down
Do not interrupt a conversation to ask “how is everything?”
No taking pictures of food before tasting it allowed.
No musty or stinky glasses. I don’t care if they’re “good” glasses or not, sometimes they have a horrible odor. I always smell my glass before anything gets poured into it - sometimes it seems like they wiped them out with an old, sour-smelling towel.
Cell phones MUST be turned off.
(My God, how painful the yakking is, especially businessmen on their own at the next table talking loudly for half an hour at a stretch!)
I don’t want to know the waiter’s/waitresse’s name.
They can be allowed to ask only once during the meal “Is everything alright”?
You choose: either you fill my glass - I said fill, not overfill - regularly, or you leave the chilled white wine within easy reach.
I don’t want to have to beg for your attention every time I fill my glass.
No overly chilled red wine, please.
What, you’re selling $300 bottles of wine and you don’t have a decanter?
Oh, you have a decanter, but you don’t know to use it? Well please ask someone to show you.
Good luck with your acting career!
Make everything* in house, if you do buy in only outsource for quality not convenience.
If you can’t follow that then simplify your menu.
Don’t disapear when I want the bill.
If I order the ‘business lunch’ its ok to assume I want to be out in under an hour
List vintages on the wine list (French are terrible at this)
*(Within reason I mean of course - no need to make e.g. mustard, butter etc!)
Printed menus, including for the specials. I don’t want (or need) a server to recite every damn item in a dish and how it was cooked, treated, added to, so that by the time he/she is done I’ve totally forgotten what the first dish was about. Just write it down.
Join the rest of the world and get rid of tips.
Don’t “offer” something (like sparkling or spring water) and then find out there is a charge for it. I don’t want to have to ask “is there a charge for this?” each time something comes.
Too small tables…but this seems to be a problem in mostly larger cities.
Preface this by saying I love restaurants and the people who work in them, and serving certain people must be incredibly trying on the soul, and I greatly respect that work. I love the restaurant industry. If I could suggest some changes, however …
Wine related:
Don’t bring my food out before the wine. To enforce this, don’t print tickets in the kitchen until the server acknowledges drinks have been served.
I don’t mind if servers want to pour my wine, but don’t freak out if I do it. The easiest way to get attention in a restaurant is to pour your own wine—servers converge on you as if you are choking.
No overly large pours. Small pours into large glasses, please.
Similarly, let me drink all or at least most of the glass before refilling. This is compounded by the need to fill my dining companion’s glass up whenever they fill mine.
Don’t organize your wine menu by something cutesy like body or fruitiness. Actually, the only right way to categorize is by region.
It isn’t weird to decant white wine.
Other:
If you are a “no tips” establishment there should be no tip line on the receipt or other opportunity to tip. Don’t say gratuity included and still expect your best customers to tip.
Bars that are basically overflow seating for the restaurant where the expectation is you will order a full meal and then get up.
I realize this is a personal pet peeve, but bars shouldn’t allow groups of 3 or more to sit at them.
No dogs - it’s a CA thing
No smoking - smoking sections are ridiculous
No child haters like Joe B - you were a child once, weren’t you?
No Chilis
No Chipotle
No Applebees
No Olive Garden
No Outback
No Red Lobster
No… You get the idea