Offlines: how well do you know everyone before you go to your first?

For those of you who have attended offlines, how well did you get to know the other folks through the forum before finally meeting in person? Is there etiquette around that?

If a member attended one where they hadn’t really talked to the other attendees previously, would it be like this:

newbie:
everyone else:

Ain’t nobody nicer than winos with a new person joining the festivities…it means we get to open more bottles!

We just did one called a “Rookie Offline” so everyone there was comfortable knowing we were all new to offlines (and the forum, to some extent).

I would be far too intimidated to go to a cfu offline. That guy scares the bejeesus out of me.

OL’s are so worth while. It all works out- I say, just stick your toe into the water…

One of the great thing about wine geeks and offlines is how friendly and welcoming everyone is. The only slightly complicated thing, esp with a group that meets regularly and knows each other quite well, is what wine to bring. But I’d expect any group to welcome the chance to tell you what to bring . Seriously tho, ask about what sort of wines will be brought, and figure out whether you have (or can get) wines that will ‘fit in’ and will be an interesting addition. If so, plunge in and have a great time…if not, there are always other offlines coming up, generally with a completely different focus. I assume you’ve seen the offlines forum here…if not, check it out. Woo Hoo.

I went to my first offline having never met or spoken with either of the other two who I joined for the evening.
I went to my second offline having met only one of the attendees previously.
I would not have any reservations about doing so again.

Seriously, the offline was a lot of fun. If you’re debating whether to go or not, Betty, I’d say absolutely go. Just plan around whether you need transport or a designated driver if you’re going to have several people and wines to get through.

Yeah…pretty much. But, alcohol is a great social lubricant and wine nerds are not people to fear but to embrace, so - like clothes removed when entering a nudist camp - after a little warm-up you’ll fit right in. Have no fear!

I did my first offline in 2001. I was in Dallas on business and joined an organized group I “met” on Robin Garr’s board. They were incredibly nice and welcoming, even though I was the outsider and had brought a completely inappropriate wine (they changed the venue while I was traveling). I don’t go to many offlines and I rarely know the people attending when I do, but they’ve always been enjoyable. At a minimum, you always have wine in common. (Cue Deep Blue Something - “well at least that’s one thing we’ve got.”)

I think we had the 1st Berserkerfest here at our store in August 2009, if I remember correctly there were about 65 that showed up. We hadn’t personally met most of the people attending other than our chatter on here and I think the meeting was first for most . It turned out to be a blast and we’ve had other get-togethers since but nothing like the first one. There was bedazzling of all kinds going on…

You’re never a newbie among berserkers

I have been to tons of offlines, often in other cities or hosting people visiting, and only once have I had a bad experience. In many instances, some or all of the attendees are people I am meeting for the first time. In all instances, we decide in advance where to go and what kind of wine to bring- and when I am playing host I will tend to try and match up to what others want to bring or would like to taste if they are visiting from out of town and cannot bring bottles.

The nice thing today is that with several years of internet wine forum history you can do a little homework on most people in advance and have an idea what kind of wines they like, as well as whether you might want to taste with them in the first place.

My very first offline ever was in college during the early days of the internet where the alt.food.wine forum was about all that was available. A group of us met up, and it was interesting. During the meal, one participant breast-fed her 4 year old child at the table. But they were a lovely family, and it was a good time- so to this day I get a laugh about it and I would meet up with them or anyone else at that tasting again if we were to cross paths.

The bad experience was one I should have foreseen in advance- someone who was under the impression I would whip out DRC or Ramonet-type stuff any time I was invited to come to table, even if it would be far above what others were bringing (these are the people to watch out for- and they are out there.)

As long as location and wine expectations are reasonably understood by all in advance- then you should not have any trouble, or at least not anything to ruin an evening.

Should definitely go. Everyone is pretty welcoming especially if it’s your first time.

My very first offline was many moons ago from a Wine Spectator gathering in San Diego. Kevin S opened his house up for a tasting and everyone was really friendly. There’s always a first time meeting people and new groups.
Some of my closest wine friends I met them at their “first” offlines.

You end up talkin to the person next to you anyways, so there is always someone to talk to!

I think you’re in Norcal, the SF/Bay area offlines posted in the offline forum are great, all the people are really nice. I personally went to a 20+ person offline there last year and I never met a single person at that dinner prior to the dinner. They were all great people and I tried to chat a little with everyone. You should go to the one in SF on june 30th, Edson (the host from out of town) is a very good friend and one of the nicest people you will meet.

I prefer it when I already know the people well beforehand. The alternative isn’t usually bad, it’s just a little awkward at first. It feels a bit like an office party where people are drawn together by circumstance not by genuine person connection. They usually work out well, but you never know until you try!

I’m sure there is a range of types of people and experiences, but I think if you’re a friendly and agreeable person, it’s almost always going to turn out fine.

I’d say unless there are serious red flags visible about the people and group, go for it and have a good time.

My first WB one I didn’t know a single person, other than through some WB threads. It was great, and some of those folks I met that night are good friends of mine now.

In today’s world, to a much larger extent than 20+ years ago, you have to put yourself out there in some ways like this at times. It’s much less likely that your office or neighborhood are going to provide all the human interaction you want, and taking a leap like this here and there can really open some great doors.

Best wishes.

Thanks for taking the time to respond, folks. It sounds like most people meet for the first time at an offline and not so much through the forum prior. Good to know, and I’ll definitely try to attend one!

I’ve got serious stranger danger and would be tempted to pre-game!

Betty - just go. It really doesn’t matter how much you know, and in fact, it’s better to not know anything than to think you know everything. You’ll meet people who have been learning about wine for five or ten years, others who have been in the business for forty years, some who just discovered wine a few months ago, and many more.

Some thirty years ago I met a few people who helped me out a lot. If I can repay them by making someone else feel welcome, then I’m happy too. In my new apartment I don’t know a soul, so I’m organizing a wine tasting. It’s not an “offline” because I don’t know anyone who is online. But it’s still a bunch of strangers with a common interest.

The idea of an “offline” was a little weird to me at first - I’d been drinking and learning about wine for years before I ever joined a wine forum and that long before I met anyone through a forum, but today I have some pretty good friends that I’d never have met otherwise.

Do go. It’s one more way to recapture what life must have been like before we spend most of our waking hours online.

Offlines are easy because, worst case scenario, even if it’s awkward for the first ten minutes, a glass or two of wine fixes it fast!

Went to Charlie’s East Bay offline last year. 20 affable strangers, Beserkers all. Good times. Charlie called my wine corked BTW! (It was)

I don’t know where you’re located, Betty, but if you’re in LA or OC, or ever visiting the area, we would be happy to include you in an upcoming gathering. I can guarantee safe and friendly conduct.

By the way, here is a story of one time I stumbled into some other WBers having a tasting dinner, none of whom I knew at that point, and how fortunate I was to have done so: