Retailers' e-mails that caused me to guffaw

Let me kick off with this from Ian McFadden at Crush this week:

Today, > I’m happy > to offer Coche-Dury’s 2015 Bourgogne Aligoté for > $199.95> , the lowest price for any vintage of Coche’s Aligoté in the country. > I’m excited > > to have a second opportunity to offer this jaw-dropping example of Coche’s Aligoté.

You got that? Two Benjamins for an aligoté.

He’s happy to be offering it at $200? Not just happy, but excited!

Jaw-dropping, I agree.

OK. Next e-mail offer please …

Every time Envoyer says they are offering the only bottles in the USA of a wine I already bought from a US retailer. Happens every couple of weeks.

I have a local LWS I love and a, friends with the owners, but still get the “highly allocated” or “only two cases in SC” emails like it is a big deal. I can get it from B21, Chicago, or a dozen other places. I still buy from them to support them, so slightly different than your situation, but same sentiment.

Container on the way!

Back up (the very small) truck!

All have (have not) arrived

I guffawed when the post title said “retailers’”, but that’s neither here nor there.

Is this just Coche envy or are you actually complaining about the price being higher than other retailers?

Newly in stock! (Returned from summer shipment, for re-sale.)

Highly doubt that he has Coche envy.

As good as the Aligoté is, $200 is a lot of money for wine that is probably not more than €15– ex-cellars.

Naturally, but then let’s talk about the importers and distributors… Wait that’s another thread.

  1. You have a problem with the plural possessive? My intention was to start a thread about various missives that make us guffaw. So it was meant to be plural.

  2. I’m saying that I wish he was just a wee bit sheepish about the price. I mean, if this is such a rare and cherished thing, why does it need such a marketing push?

Andrew is clearly not hurting for cash if you read the right threads.

Leave to Andrew to waltz in here and turn it into, oh, you can’t afford Coche and I can and you’re just jealous. It’s almost comically villainous, and I’m not 100% convinced he isn’t trolling. Unfortunately for all of us, he’s not nearly as entertaining as Alan Eden was.

The first time I saw the ‘08 Salon bundle offered. Actually every time.

For us here in the good ol USA…any Coche Dury under $200… flirtysmile

Even when they are not offering “the discerning wines of Rajat Parr,” almost every e mail from Sotheby’s has me at least smiling and sometimes I do have an occasional guffaw at their ludicrous pricing.

BTW, talking of apostrophes why do both Sotheby’s and Christie’s have them?

It just means you bought the last of them!

Parker licensed every writer and retail to declaim the wine they are hawking “the [this] of [that].” “The Mouton of the Monongahela Valley.” “The Flaccianello of Flatbush.” “The Salon of Saigon.”

The Mad Dog of Montalcino

Burgundy offers that start with “from vines adjacent to La Tache…”

“Imagine cutting into a thick, grass-fed, dry-aged ribeye that was expertly encrusted in its own fat within a scorching cast iron pan. Tirelessly basted with golden butter and finished with flaky sea salt. Crispy on the outside while pink and tender in the middle. Primal grazing cow-like flavor, meaty, minerally and moderately funky like buttered popcorn from weeks of solitary dry-aging. Smoky, pulverized andouille sausage compound butter drips and oozes into every crevice and glazes the beef with an extra sheen of flavor. Vibrant, locally-grown sweet red peppers are charred underneath and tossed in a piquant lime aioli. Dark purple, hedonistic wine is slowly poured into your goblet generating frothy violet-hued foam that reeks of fermented blackberries, asphalt and roasted espresso beans. Are you in heaven? Nope, you’re just preparing the perfect compliment to this red hot steaming deal.”