May I ask why you want to shotgun a few beers before you go out?
There is always the butt chugging option:
I’m afraid to even click on the link.
OP, Why do the beers have to be super cold? Why not just drink them at a slightly warmer temperature than typical?
I can recall when intoxicated folks were “nursed” by concerned friends. Many were were given iced water to drink - which irritates an uneasy stomach.
Have you tried popping them in the air fryer?
![[drinkers.gif]](/uploads/db3686/original/2X/8/82916bed5ad74ac8470bc04089d9758b0c80c9fa.gif "drinkers"){kind=small}