FS: Keys to the Kingdom

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the sale of the keys to the kingdom. As many of you know, I re-evaluated my life priorities earlier this year after buying a beautiful and very expensive self portrait. The realization I came to has changed many of your lives, and for that I am greateful. With that said, the keys to the kingdom aint free. Best and final offers are due this Sunday at the stroke of mindnight. Thank you and God bless.

Ahhhhh Napa Jebathy. I should have known it was you all along. You skulked in the shadows and threw thumbtacks under the shoeless tred of my retreating army. Be that as it may, I am a man of my word. Your bid of one billion doll hairs is accepted. May you suffer the love of a terrible woman.

I’m much more interested in bidding on your self-portrait. The idea of your reassuring gaze staring at me from my bedroom ceiling really stirs my soul.

Does it stir thy soul…or thy loins? You sir are a known pervert. How much are you willing to bid for a chance to own a slice of brown eyed divinity?

Ah, the prodigal son !

I bid one jar of Buddy Cianci’s Mayor’s Own marinara sauce.

Can u post the TN of the 10 bottles you must’ve just consumed? :wink:

Mark Y R U ASKING me silly ass questions?

Are you bidding on the keys to the kingdom or the self-portrait, because I’ll go to war for that thing. I bid two bottles of Ragu.

I want the world. I want the whole world. I want to wrap it all up in my pocket, it’s my bar of chocolate. Give it to me.
— a naked and crying David Hasselhoff, forced by kidnappers to dress as Veruca Salt and perform to a crowd of angry Somali Pirates

This is one of the best posts i’ve seen on here in awhile. [cheers.gif]

ISO: whatever Bobby was smoking last night!! :wink:

Bobby feeds off the souls of unsuspecting Berserkers.

“Indy, cover your heart!”

THE KEYS WERE SOLD BUT I KEPT A SPARE SET IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

Mark Y is an upstanding citizen and I respect the hell out of him. I couldn’t resist the comment though (Mark I beg forgiveness) as I was on a roll.

I :heart: U.
U complete me.

By Hook (Shout out to JEB!) or by Crook (sideways glance to JOE), we are going to change this online wine thing one post at a time.

IF you make it to DC, I will find you and force you to enjoy my hospitality. Being an agressive sharer of fine wine is a terrible fault of mine.

Aggressive is kind of an understatement. At first all the hugging, touching, and forceful sharing of feelings made me uncomfortable, but now I look forward to it [cheers.gif]

There was this guy at the last Schvitz at Bobby’s that kept hitting me with reeds and yelling at me in russian. Then he asked me for $20. Which Bobby graciously covered, that’s the kind of guy he is. #Hospitality

To be fair I stole the money from my wife. Friendship is the most important thing there is.