Manliest of the Manly Wine Beverages?

WINE TALK
21

Cuvee da Capo di Tutti Capi.

22

Amarone is the Rambo/John Wayne of wine.

23

Terrano from Friuli: Refosco with no maloactic.

Sagrantino: the Chuck Norris of Wine

24

Here’s another take on that idea, from another time…

“Claret is the liquor for boys; port, for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.”
–Samuel Johnson

25

Brandy actually is kind of manly. But is there a different word for it – in another language perhaps? Because “Brandy” sounds like a good name for a cocker spaniel.

26

well done

27

Si, Sagrantino es muy macho.

28

Jim, I must profess some manly non-emoticon enhanced confusion at your responses. By the picture that you use of yourself in your avatar, you appear to be a manly serial killer who is in fact about to kill the photographer taking the actual photo for making the grave error of bothering you while you are drinking red wine while presumably chowing down on some hapless victim’s barbecued organs. Yet, you argue that wine is not manly despite yourself appearing to follow the manly example set by Hannibal Lecter. Can you explain this rather serious contradiction to us?

29

You expose my contradictions well.

30

Well, if we’re talking wine beverages

(aka 2010 Pavie)

31

Others apparently have tried to address this before, but have failed

32

True - I googled images for “macho wine” and Dave, your avatar shows up about halfway down the first page [cheers.gif]

(edited to add: it’s accompanied by a bizarre matrix of images)

33

Hard to get more manly than this: [wow.gif]

34

I took a look at Todd’s picture and made an objective analysis of the manliness of a sabered champagne bottle (i just learned how to do it, so I may be biased). My analysis resulted in a conclusion - Sabered Champagned Bottle = Manlier than petite sirah. Petite Sirah includes the word Petite. There are few words more efiminate than “Petite.” Therefore, logic requires me to conclude that Petite Sirah is for women and limp wrists.

First, the champagne hints at celebration…which hints at some form of victory, and to the victor go the spoils, and winning is certainly manly.

Second, the saber shows that Todd means business, is to manly to dick with the foil and wire, and is in a hurry to celebrate his victory. It also shows the if someone holding a wine cooler attempts to take his champagne, he can kill his attacker. Killing an attacker with a saber is extremely manly. Just ask Conan the Barbarian. I did. He said I was right…it is manly. He mentioned something about dorking your fat ugly maid too, but I wasn’t listening.

Third, sunglasses prove he is manly enough to give the sun the finger. Stopping the sun’s fury is no small feat. Just ask my dead lawn. Sunglasses also indicate that Todd wants to keep his senses about him, and glare from the sun is an impediment to spotting and disposing of potential brigands with his saber. Keeping your wits about you in the face of clear and present danger is certainly manly.

Fourth, Todd’s tight-fitting tee may look like metrosexual attire, and therefore feminine, but it isn’t when you take into account the presence of Todd’s saber. It appears that Todd doesn’t want loose fitting clothing getting in his way or snagging on things as he parries incoming attacks and hamstrings his enemies. The tight shirt is short sleeved, and therefore does not restrict his movement. Being able to maximize the force of a downward saber strike is unquestionably manly. Having your loose fitting blouse impair your attack is not manly.

Fifth, a sabered champagne bottle has a jagged glass top that screams danger. Ignoring danger is manly. Even if Todd does not put his lips up to the razor’s edge, he can still just pour the champagne into his mouth. Drinking like you just won the Stanley Cup is manly. Plus, if he loses his saber, he can use his champagne-spear as a weapon. Improvised weapons are manly.

Bachelorette parties take tequila shots. Sorority girls drink whiskey sours. If you want to be manly, and have a liquor experience, you drink scotch neat, or on the rocks. It shows that you have class, but can take the heat from the hooch as you slowly savor it. Whiskey is for mixing or shooting. Even good bourbon cannot challenge the complexity or intensity of scotch.

35

Cognac is the exact same as brandy…but from Cognac.

36

Actually it is the Michael Clark Duncan of wine. It’s big…and its sweet.

37

Sine Qua Non is the exact same as brandy but from California. Your point? newhere

38

I’ve seen non-manly women saber Champagne, plenty.

39

I’m going with port. Love that Samuel Johnson quote above.

As for the boy… I don’t think comic book / superhero nightclothes will get the result you want (remember underroos? Shudder.) My bf has this muscley-hot Aquaman T Shirt, it’s the gayest thing ever. How about Batman and Robin? All the bulging briefs, yum. Consider the gay identity politics in the X men series. It’s endemic to the genre, as famously spoofed by SNL’s “Ambiguously Gay Duo.” If you really feel the need to butch up a 5 year old, I’d stick with sports and airplanes, and be sure to keep him away from that cross dressing Bugs Bunny! [snort.gif]

Smurfs are freaking communists anyway. And drug addicts.

40

I guess I’ll have to go with Night Train. Guns n’ Roses wrote a song about it. What more do you need?