Now that you’re into wine, better get used to realizing that 95% of the people drink plonk
Boy did Michel nail that one! It’s distressing!
But here’s a slightly different take on things.
Annette - you have the problems because you didn’t take any action to avoid them.
First of all, the invitation. Once you accept an invitation to visit someone’s house, I figure you’ve committed to be a happy guest. If you don’t really want to go, then don’t. But if you do, enjoy it. And if you feel like there’s an agenda, address it head on. I’ve done it. Just work into the conversation the fact that you’ve just hired someone or there’s a freeze on hiring because some manager wants to review expenses or shift directions, etc. In other words, make the issue go away so neither party is on edge. Once the issue is gone, both sides can relax and make the best of the evening and guess what - you might both end up being great friends. You can reciprocate the invitation (I just like having people over so I would do it anyway) and address it at your own house if you’d like. Again, once people understand there’s no possibility of a sale, they can just sit back and relax.
Second, the wine.
Do exactly the same thing. Make the problem go away. If you’re afraid people are going to serve you plonk, then don’t just hand them a bottle when you arrive as if it’s some kind of gift. Instead, SHOW them the bottle and tell them you’ve been dying to try it with them because you’re sure they’ll love it based on this or that wine/food/comment last time! Or just tell them a little story about it and tell them it needs to be chilled for about 10 minutes in the fridge. In other words, first thing you do is get it on the agenda for the evening. Give them flowers or something else as the house gift.
And if you are four people, you will have brought several wines so if you have a wine that’s ready to open as well, tell them you’ll open that while the other one is chilling. Even better, have it already opened and tell them you decanted it prior to coming over, even if you just did it in the car two minutes earlier. Or ask them for a decanter. When they say they don’t have one, suggest looking for something that could be used as one and always remember that a coffee pot can work perfectly! Get them involved in serving the wine you brought.
I do it all the time. I don’t want to be stuck drinking Cupcake or something.
It’s just social engineering. Life isn’t so black and white. Make it gray when you need to. Problems arise when you worry about them but don’t do anything about them. So my suggestion is - do something about them. Don’t just sit back and accept whatever comes your way.