Wine red flags

[K_John_Joseph]

James Suckling
Wilifred Wong
Wine & Spirits
Gold Medal Stickers
Stains on the label
Opaque bottles
Bottled Exclusively For
Negociants I’ve never heard of
Marketing exclusively towards women
Use of word “Reserve” with wine under $30
Napa cabernet sauvignon under $30
Wamed after food (jam, cupcake, layer cake, popcorn, etc.)
Plays on names
Sexual inuendo
Food pairing advice
Shelf talker with high score of a different vintage or brand offering
Suggestions of residual sugar

[Anton_D]

Precious names. Pun names.

Having the word “Australia” on the label.

Labels that change art from vintage to vintage.

Spoofy bottle shapes.

Names that don’t make for ready identification of the grape-types used to make the wine.

Wines with pictures of wines or wine paraphernalia on the label.

Wines with a vintage date that is yet to occur.

Wines with label marketing terms on the label.

[Jay_Miller]

@Jeff Loftus

@matt d

@Jeff Loftus

Any wine poured at a tasting at a local wine store over $16. Any wine poured at a tasting at a supermarket or big box chain, period.

why do you not trust your local wine store tasting more expensive wine?

Because it’s never the local shop owners/workers that choose the pours. It’s always the distributors or selling reps that run the tastings. Maybe you are lucky to live in an area with better local wine shops.

You should have gone to Cave Taureau when they were still in business. But yes, those of in NYC, SF , etc. are lucky in that regard.

[Soren_R_Nielsen]

@Anton D

Precious names. Pun names.

Having the word “Australia” on the label.

Labels that change art from vintage to vintage.

Spoofy bottle shapes.

Names that don’t make for ready identification of the grape-types used to make the wine.

Wines with pictures of wines or wine paraphernalia on the label.

Wines with a vintage date that is yet to occur.

Wines with label marketing terms on the label.

…Made Me laugh!
Thank You.

I guess You won’t order the just released 2018 Mouton R then?

[John_Morris]

Very heavy bottle with deep punt + wine from an obscure locale = spoofification

[BrianMarshall]

No sediment

[Steve_Slatcher]

Bottle made from blue glass

Bottle with silver coating

“Perfect with red meat or pasta”

[Murray_Stiles]

A tasting note which mentions oak being a significant presence.

[Bryan_Carr]

@K John Joseph

James Suckling
Wilifred Wong
Wine & Spirits
Gold Medal Stickers
Stains on the label
Opaque bottles
Bottled Exclusively For
Negociants I’ve never heard of
Marketing exclusively towards women
Use of word “Reserve” with wine under $30
Napa cabernet sauvignon under $30
Wamed after food (jam, cupcake, layer cake, popcorn, etc.)
Plays on names
Sexual inuendo
Food pairing advice
Shelf talker with high score of a different vintage or brand offering
Suggestions of residual sugar

The bolded ones for me for sure. I love puns and dad jokes in real life but man nothing turns me away from a wine brand like puns or “sexy” names, oof. “Goats do Roam”? No thanks! “Boar Doe”? NOPE. Also, I don’t care how good the Corliss castoff juice in Secret Squirrel is, not buying it.

[JeromeHan]

When the store associate removes the bottle of Chappellet from my cart and puts it back on the shelf and says his suggestion is better: “Like Caymus for half the price.”

[Barry_Paul_Price]

@JeromeHan

When the store associate removes the bottle of Chappellet from my cart and puts it back on the shelf and says his suggestion is better: “Like Caymus for half the price.”

Oy vey

[Marcus_Goodfellow]

@John Morris

Very heavy bottle with deep punt + wine from an obscure locale = spoofification

For sure on this.

[Fred_Bower]

Many good ones covered here. I’d add (or emphasize):

Blush
Muscadine or Scuppernong - really just about any varietal Vitis Labrusca wine
Sweet (the word) in the label on something claiming to be a table wine - the extreme end of “evidence of RS” (I actually invite RS into my German Rieslings, so RS in and of itself isn’t a bad thing in my book)
Packaged in a can
Packaged in a screw-capped jug (1.5L or larger)
Fruit wines
For older wines, clearly inappropriate color, ullage, wrinkled capsules that don’t look authentic, labels that are too pristine

Having plenty to drink and plenty of experience, I’m ok leaving rocks unturned in my present situation.

fred

[BrianMarshall]

Any kind of special reserve; private reserve, winemaker’s reserve, family reserve, etc. They pretty much all mean the same thing.

[Mike_Evans]

@Fred Bower

Many good ones covered here. I’d add (or emphasize):

Muscadine or Scuppernong - really just about any varietal Vitis Labrusca wine

Muscadine (and scuppernong is a variety of muscadine) isn’t vitis labrusca, it is vitis rotundifolia, a completely different species.

[Arv_R]

Bourbon barrels for elevage

[Marcu_Stanley]

@Rich Brown

Any wine with descriptors like ‘dark’ or ‘midnight’ in the name

LOL…these are not being marketed to our tiny sliver of the wine world, but to a far larger and more lucrative target audience.

[David_Glasser]

@Anton D

Precious names. Pun names.

Having the word “Australia” on the label.

Labels that change art from vintage to vintage.

Spoofy bottle shapes.

Names that don’t make for ready identification of the grape-types used to make the wine.

Wines with pictures of wines or wine paraphernalia on the label.

Wines with a vintage date that is yet to occur.

Wines with label marketing terms on the label.

Mouton?
SQN?

Exceptions that prove the rule? Though there are those who would rate them (SQN more than Mouton) DNPIM.

[Anton_D]

That was purely chain-pulling to see who would catch me!

You are, of course, right on!

:cheers:

I am happy to see you were OK with my Australia joke.

[Chris_Seiber]

Another thing I never buy is wines that purport to be made from extra grapes or juice from “unnamed super expensive cult producer that can’t be named due to nondisclosure agreements.” That’s more often in the sales pitch or shelf talker than on the label, though.