More Saturday Retail Funnies

Wine Pimps
41

Daniel Posner:

Also, best empanadas I had all trip were cooked there.

Santa Ema Dan. I know it’s Chile, but I was double fisting the empanadas there. Beef in one hand, shrimp in the other.

42

“Today, a woman in a bikini went shopping in our store. Too funny.”

That’s unusual in Dana Point? Happens here pretty often…

43

Her store is in Costa Mesa - same general idea, but not quite as casual as Dana Point, as the beach community nearby is Newport Beach…

44

Oh, right, she works at High Times…pretty chilly in there too!

45

I would guess chill…

46

Next time, Mark. I only did Mendoza on the trip. We do not sell much Chilean wine, so I did not care to visit the area yet. When I find some good wine there, I will visit. [bleh.gif] [pillow-fight.gif]

There is a place in DC that is a hole in the wall with good empanadas for cheap. I forget the name.

2007 Clos de los Siete is a bargain. I would not hesitate to hold that wine for 5 more years.

47

YUM!

48

You know, it just seems like people aren’t a whole lot into showering these days.

[swoon.gif]

49

See, just another example of a retailer not willing to go that extra mile for their customer [swearing.gif]

We have a rabbi on call to flash-kosher anything in the store…

50

I thought it meant “no fucking lime” when I ordered a mexican beer.

51

Could be fun.

52

Ok.
I’m not a retailer, obviously. But I have a friend in the business who runs a store. He doesn’t post here. He had a crazy exchange with a customer, sent me the email exchange, and I can’t help but post it here as it fits!!!
He runs a store in the Southern part of the US. Like many other stores, he has an email list that people can sign up for. Seems someone signed up this guy, and he didn’t like it.

"Dear (x),
I have received 8 emails in the past 2 hours. Take me off your email list immediately. If I receive another email from your store I will come to your store and make you eat my shit.

Respectfully,
(y)"

So, my friend emailed back that all the guy had to do was ask, he didn’t have to send this crazy email, and that you really don’t know who you’re sending stuff to when you send this kind of stuff, and you should be more careful (lots of nuts out there!).

He got back the following

"(x) Motherfucker. I said to take me off your email list and you didn’t. Instead you fucked with me and replied. You are a sleeze-ball (sp). You are in the wrong. Take me off your list now. I don’t give a shit about your wines and I don’t give a shit about you. I will reply to every email you send me from now on and eventually I will make you eat my shit.
Remember, you started this by sending me 8 emails in a 2 hour span. I’ve never been, and I will never go to your crummy little wine shop you whore. And I’m not scared of you, bring it bitch, and you tell 'em I’m coming and Hell’s coming with me!

Your loyal customer
(y)"

Crazy stuff!!!
Made me really laugh, though…

53

8 emails in 2 hours is worth getting angry over.

54

Shows you not to fuck with Wyatt Earp. Or at least not to fuck with Kurt Russell playing Wyatt Earp.

55

My friend claims that he didn’t send “8 emails in 2 hours” and as I’m on the email list, I can verify that I only get about 1 or 2 a week. I assume something funny happened with a server, and the message got duplicated a few times.

Anyway, funny end to the story. The store is in a college town. Of course, this guy is a college kid (big surprise). My friend knows the dean of the college, called him, and had the dean talk to the kid. Explain ‘life’ to him, that when you send stuff like this, you never really know who’s receiving it. They could be nuts!!!

56

Heh. That reminds me of some wacko who went off on my friend’s Yahoo Group. He posted a very insulting rant that he didn’t want all the f-ing emails, blah blah blah, “unsubscribe me from your group!”. So, of course he got flooded with emails telling him what a dumbass he is, that he can unsubscribe himself, and that he’s the idiot who chose the settings to receive an email for every post in the group. [oops.gif] [rofl.gif]

57

We have our back labels ink jetted on the front on some of our wines. A couple of weeks ago. A women called the winery to tell them she would be sueing the winery for her visit to the emrgency room due to her ingestion of chocolate from one of our wines where the description on the label refers to hints of chocolate. Of course she is allergic to chocolate. We tried to explain that we don’t add chocolate, but she refused to belive us. Not sure where this one is headed.

58

[shock.gif]

Well if it said chocolate right on the label, what was she doing ingesting it?

59

[oops.gif] [rolleyes.gif]

60

We had a guy come in today while he was waiting for his tires to get done. He had a glass of SB and started babbling, he told us he was a Shrink at the state hospital. He offered to come back and spend some free time analyzing me since he didn’t think I take enough time off. He said if nothing else join a gym. What do you think he meant by that ? [scratch.gif]