More Saturday Retail Funnies

[Randy_Bowman]

@C. Bowman

We had a guy come in today while he was waiting for his tires to get done. He had a glass of SB and started babbling, he told us he was a Shrink at the state hospital. He offered to come back and spend some free time analyzing me since he didn’t think I take enough time off. He said if nothing else join a gym. What do you think he meant by that ?

I’ll stay out of this one. [suicide.gif]

[Bob_Wood]

@C. Bowman

He said if nothing else join a gym. What do you think he meant by that ?

He’s an endorphinista.

[Peter_Hirsch]

Very funny stuff on this thread. Lots of nuts out there…

[Randy_Bowman]

Just received a call (on a Sunday) from a younger gentleman. First he asked if I make my own wine. (No) He asked if any of the wineries make their own wine at the winery or is it made in a laboratory. (Yes and some at custom crush facilities.) Do I know any winery that has a winemaker on duty today. (No) Well maybe you can help me, I’m a home wine maker and the fermentation is done and the wine is cloudy. How do I get the yeast out of the wine?

[Linda_Baehr]

@Randy Bowman

Just received a call (on a Sunday) from a younger gentleman. First he asked if I make my own wine. (No) He asked if any of the wineries make their own wine at the winery or is it made in a laboratory. (Yes and some at custom crush facilities.) Do I know any winery that has a winemaker on duty today. (No) Well maybe you can help me, I’m a home wine maker and the fermentation is done and the wine is cloudy. How do I get the yeast out of the wine?

You should have told him to get a teeny tiny tweezers and pick them out one by one. That would keep him busy for a while!

[Randy_Bowman]

@Linda Baehr

@Randy Bowman

Just received a call (on a Sunday) from a younger gentleman. First he asked if I make my own wine. (No) He asked if any of the wineries make their own wine at the winery or is it made in a laboratory. (Yes and some at custom crush facilities.) Do I know any winery that has a winemaker on duty today. (No) Well maybe you can help me, I’m a home wine maker and the fermentation is done and the wine is cloudy. How do I get the yeast out of the wine?

You should have told him to get a teeny tiny tweezers and pick them out one by one. That would keep him busy for a while!

Then he would’ve asked if they were a specialty tweezer and what store he could get them at. He was asking if he should run the wine through a strainer or cheese cloth.

[Linda_Baehr]

@Randy Bowman

@Linda Baehr

@Randy Bowman

Just received a call (on a Sunday) from a younger gentleman. First he asked if I make my own wine. (No) He asked if any of the wineries make their own wine at the winery or is it made in a laboratory. (Yes and some at custom crush facilities.) Do I know any winery that has a winemaker on duty today. (No) Well maybe you can help me, I’m a home wine maker and the fermentation is done and the wine is cloudy. How do I get the yeast out of the wine?

You should have told him to get a teeny tiny tweezers and pick them out one by one. That would keep him busy for a while!

Then he would’ve asked if they were a specialty tweezer and what store he could get them at. He was asking if he should run the wine through a strainer or cheese cloth.

If he has chunks big enough for a strainer to catch, he’s got some serious problems.

I’ve had several home winemakers give me samples of their wine to taste/run analysis on. The lack of the most basic knowledge about winemaking some of these people have is pretty startling.

[C_Bowman]

@Linda Baehr

If he has chunks big enough for a strainer to catch, he’s got some serious problems.

I think if he’s calling at 5:00 p.m. on a Sunday he’s got more serious problems than chunks and straining wine

[Randy_Bowman]

Well he was definitely talking to the wrong person on how to make wine. I could have given him a long discertation on how to drink wine, proper stumbling and creative ways to score a 9.5+ when you fall down.

[Linda_Baehr]

@Randy Bowman

creative ways to score a 9.5+ when you fall down.

You just have to stick the landing.

[Randy_Bowman]

@C. Bowman

We had a guy come in today while he was waiting for his tires to get done. He had a glass of SB and started babbling, he told us he was a Shrink at the state hospital. He offered to come back and spend some free time analyzing me since he didn’t think I take enough time off. He said if nothing else join a gym. What do you think he meant by that ?

This guy came back today and I had to deal with him. He had purchased a $12 bottle of French Rose last time, but because it was hot and he wasn’t going straight home, its been kept here in one of our wine refers. He shows up with a container of “greens” and asks if I would put them in the refer with his wine. He buys a glass of white wine and drinks it while asking me the characteristics of nearly every cigar in the humidor and what do I mean by “woody, spicy” etc. He finally leaves with a cigar and his greens, but left his Rose so he can come back and psychoanalize Carrie.

Berto, if you ever get like this, we will disown you.

[Mike_Stoneking]

@Randy Bowman

@C. Bowman

We had a guy come in today while he was waiting for his tires to get done. He had a glass of SB and started babbling, he told us he was a Shrink at the state hospital. He offered to come back and spend some free time analyzing me since he didn’t think I take enough time off. He said if nothing else join a gym. What do you think he meant by that ?

This guy came back today and I had to deal with him. He had purchased a $12 bottle of French Rose last time, but because it was hot and he wasn’t going straight home, its been kept here in one of our wine refers. He shows up with a container of “greens” and asks if I would put them in the refer with his wine. He buys a glass of white wine and drinks it while asking me the characteristics of nearly every cigar in the humidor and what do I mean by “woody, spicy” etc. He finally leaves with a cigar and his greens, but left his Rose so he can come back and psychoanalize Carrie.

Berto, if you ever get like this, we will disown you.

Let him read the thread from Berserkerfest I and watch his head spin. Chances are he won’t come back.

[Roberto_Rogness]

Just now: good looking mixed Polynesian/Latin couple comes in and ask, “Point us to your Manischewitz”. I thought they were joking. They weren’t. They make Sangria with it!

[Gerry_Morrisey]

@Peter Hirsch

My friend claims that he didn’t send “8 emails in 2 hours” and as I’m on the email list, I can verify that I only get about 1 or 2 a week. I assume something funny happened with a server, and the message got duplicated a few times.

Anyway, funny end to the story. The store is in a college town. Of course, this guy is a college kid (big surprise). My friend knows the dean of the college, called him, and had the dean talk to the kid. Explain ‘life’ to him, that when you send stuff like this, you never really know who’s receiving it. They could be nuts!!!

If your friend really wants to f*ck with the guy he should forward his e-mail address to Garagiste!!! then he’d really have something to complain about!!

[scamhi]

@Peter Hirsch

Ok.
I’m not a retailer, obviously. But I have a friend in the business who runs a store. He doesn’t post here. He had a crazy exchange with a customer, sent me the email exchange, and I can’t help but post it here as it fits!!!
He runs a store in the Southern part of the US. Like many other stores, he has an email list that people can sign up for. Seems someone signed up this guy, and he didn’t like it.

I received an email from your friend this week

“If you have any interest in giving me another shot as a wine merchant, I now have a legal and easy way for you to arrange for delivery of your wines. And I would try very hard not to screw up the relationship again.”

to which I answered nicely…Sorry not interested.

His reply…
“I understand your feeling that way and wish that there were something I could do about it.
I cannot apologize enough for the way things went between us.
If there is something additional I could do to make it right, please let me know. Not in the interest of future business, but in the interest of fairness.”


All the retailer did was to sell me wine he didn’t have and keep my $$$ until I called to arrange for shipping months later. Never came to me to report he didn’t have the wine. There were times when I was on his list that he would send many emails in one day.

[Peter_Hirsch]

Hey, what can I say? I have a cellar full of great wines, at great prices, from that guy.
Yep, he fails to deliver, sometimes. He gets stiffed by his supplier.
I let him slide on those times, and just take the refund.
Why?
Because at other times, he delivers unbelievably great stuff at very fair prices.
I’m willing to take some bad with a bunch of good, especially when the ‘bad’ is just the time value of money…

[Brian_G_r_a_f_s_t_r_o_m]

@Gerry Morrisey

@Peter Hirsch

My friend claims that he didn’t send “8 emails in 2 hours” and as I’m on the email list, I can verify that I only get about 1 or 2 a week. I assume something funny happened with a server, and the message got duplicated a few times.

Anyway, funny end to the story. The store is in a college town. Of course, this guy is a college kid (big surprise). My friend knows the dean of the college, called him, and had the dean talk to the kid. Explain ‘life’ to him, that when you send stuff like this, you never really know who’s receiving it. They could be nuts!!!

If your friend really wants to f*ck with the guy he should forward his e-mail address to Garagiste!!! then he’d really have something to complain about!!

[Brent_C_l_a_y_t_o_n]

“I hate dry reds. Give me something really wet!” [suicide.gif]

[Veronica_Castro]

From “Customers’ Greatest Hits”, Volume II:

Customer: “I’m looking for a dry red wine, and I want it to be sweet”
me:

[Daniel_McNiff]

@Veronica Castro

From “Customers’ Greatest Hits”, Volume II:

Customer: “I’m looking for a dry red wine, and I want it to be sweet”
me:

I like “I want a sweet wine. Red goes better with steak right?”