Retailers' e-mails that caused me to guffaw

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Just as if they knew we were talking about them, today they sent out an e-mail:

"2016
Scarpa Barolo
Tettimorra

$69.99
Available on Pre-Arrival
The Only Bottles Available in the world!"

As if the “Only bottles available in the US” weren’t enough…now it’s the world!

Summer Highland Folle Blanche

Pennies from Heaven?

Or what about The Greek???

The World’s the limit!

I’ve seen several e-mail offers from one retailer that start with “Penetrating Finish”, sounds kind of dirty and not fun to have someone at work looking over your shoulder when that comes up LOL

This one just came around on the ol’ shuffler…

Not to mention that if you start with the penetrating finish, you’ve got nowhere to go after that…

Not true. Envoyer has plenty of “Another round of…” offers.

Ok I’ll stop.

Has to be Flannery.

The hits keep on coming! 95pt Priorat for over 65% off!!! I’m not kidding


The Post Script via gmail.mcsv.net
Tue, Sep 15, 1:06 PM (7 days ago)

to me

The Close-Out Deals Keep Rolling In! 95pt Priorat.
Over 65% off!! Best price in the country by $25 per bottle!
View this email in your browser

2014 Ferrer Bobet Priorat Vinyes Velles
Priorat, Spain

Imagine cutting into a thick, grass-fed, dry-aged ribeye that was expertly encrusted in its own fat within a scorching cast iron pan. Tirelessly basted with golden butter and finished with flaky sea salt. Crispy on the outside while pink and tender in the middle. Primal grazing cow-like flavor, meaty, minerally and moderately funky like buttered popcorn from weeks of solitary dry-aging. Smoky, pulverized andouille sausage compound butter drips and oozes into every crevice and glazes the beef with an extra sheen of flavor. Vibrant, locally-grown sweet red peppers are charred underneath and tossed in a piquant lime aioli. Dark purple, hedonistic wine is slowly poured into your goblet generating frothy violet-hued foam that reeks of fermented blackberries, asphalt and roasted espresso beans. Are you in heaven? Nope, you’re just preparing the perfect compliment to this red hot steaming deal.

We’re on an absolute bender when it comes to discounted fine wine lately. There’s tons of amazing deals out there given the certain Covid climate and I can’t hold back my excitement to share them with you.

From the rocky, mountainous region in the south of Catalonia, Spain, two friends Sergi Ferrer-Salat and Raul Bobet began a partnership based on the respect for the terroir of Priorat. This passion project began in 2005 when the duo started picking grapes grown on the steep hillsides of what looked like a mountain from the Harry Potter novels; jagged black slate (licorella) jetting out at all angles like a rolling avalanche of shattered mirror down the vertical hillsides. The stress on these vines is intense yielding overly complex fruit with unrivaled depth and character. The 2014 vintage is a blend of 70% Carignan and 30% Garnacha fermented in stainless steel and aged in French oak for 15 months.

If the top wines from Priorat were ranked, Ferrer-Bobet would easily land in the top 5 and maybe even top 3. WInes like Alvaro Palacios, Clos Mogador, and Clos Erasmus are certainly in the same category and conversation. Except you’re only paying $20 per bottle today as opposed to $60+.

The wine opens with sultry aromas of dark mountain fruit, baked plum, forest herbs and crushed slate. Texturally, this is one of the more seductive reds I’ve tasted all year. The creamy blue fruit seamlessly glides across the palate with no harsh speed bumps. Smoky blueberry pie with a buttery crust, fresh mint and rosemary, espresso bean and aged balsamic on the mid palate. Chiseled tannins and indiscreet tension throughout each sip with balanced acidity and truly sexy finish. This is a special wine and it deserves a splurge for a quality piece of meat or aged cheese.

95pts James Suckling
Really attractive, spicy, brambly fruits and handy raspberry as well as energetic succulent structural appeal. Gorgeous all the way. Drink now.

94pts Wine Spectator
The tender texture masks serious density and a deep core of black cherry, red plum and mountain herb flavors. Well-integrated tannins and fresh but discreet acidity give this tensile strength. Focused, energetic and alluring. Drink now through 2024. 315 cases imported

94pts Robert Parker
The 2014 Vinyes Velles, which means “old vines” in the Catalan language, is a blend of 70% Cariñena and 30% Garnacha from vines planted on slopes (“costers”) and terraces, mostly facing northeast. It fermented in stainless steel and oak vats and aged in French oak barriques for 15 months. It is harmonious, ripe without excess, nuanced and balanced, with power and elegance and nicely integrated oak. It’s textured and shows intense flavors, with good depth and a backbone of fresh acidity that lifts it up. It was bottled unfiltered and unfined in April 2016.

WE ONLY HAVE 40cs OF THIS WINE. FIRST COME FIRST SERVED

Over 65% Off

Best Price in the Country by $25 per bottle!


Normally $59.99


6pk Price: $150


Case Price: $240
(only $20/bottle)

So true. Baby Brunello, Baby Barolo. I think I read where Fonbel was a “baby Ausone” (it is from the same producer, but it’s like a $20 wine).

I know, that’s like shooting fish in a barrel…

“I just tasted something pretty exotic that’s not for everyone. Barolo Chinato. It’s actual Barolo wine that’s been steeped just like a vermouth basically. Great after dinner as it’s a little sweet. Really aromatic both on nose and mouth. Like kissing the neck of a wealthy Frenchman. Past life, past life. ”

From the same retailer today - “the finest Chablis in Burgundy.”

eeew! TMI!

When the email has the words “best” and “ever” close to one another in the same sentence.

“Gaja’s Agronomist” is a new one for me

My spell check turned Helen Turley into Helen Turkey

One of my favourites from the KGBO here is “Expect to taste…”
Why don’t they just fess up and say they haven’t any idea what’s in the bottle?

A bit more geeky was “… Syrah, the French version of Shiraz…”