Did you just call me phat?
I heard that the first review of William Kelleyās that Robert Parker read, was the day Parker decided to retire. This existential dread was causing multiple nightly nightmares of competing against Kelley, which led to his greatest coup of hiring Kelley at WA. Close confidantes of Parker now say he regularly whispers in their ears, āI was wrong about everything; listen to young William instead. Iāve learned everything I know from him.ā
I said I āassumed.ā You, Alfert and I are all attorneys, so we know that what we see publicly might not be what happened privately. As an attorney, I see clues, and I can guess from the clues, but they are guesses, educated perhaps, but guesses. I saw evidence of a dispute over ownership of the writings (unlike Galloni, who had clearly prepared in advance for his departure, Neal could not take his work product to Vinous), but thatās compatible with either scenario. All it means is that the lawyers got involved. In the absence of any real evidence, I go with the most probable scenario: he got a more attractive offer from a competing publication and took it. To bring it back to this thread, I have always assumed the same about the reasons William left Decanter for the Wine Advocate.
This thread is utterly delicious. Itās a blend of genuine admiration and whimsical toxicity.
I never thought that NM was reassigned. I did think that LPB was just a stop-gap short term measure until they found a new signing. I agree about her descriptors but I wonder if overall she isnāt just protecting the brand?
NM has clearly gained from joining Vinous, but I hope that in the future heāll join forces with William on their own - now that would be really exciting!
Going back to WK, itās indeed astonishing that he has acquired so much experience and knowledge so young - he writes with the insight and maturity of someone much older.
Did you hear that Stephen Tanzer and Allen Meadows hired a team of former Mossad agents to spy on William Kelley, attempting to get ahead of what he is working on? I heard that theyāve tried to poison his wines multiple times, but his palate is so good that itās futile. He can detect even the most minute and inconspicuous faults in wine, including ricin.
Much like the Dalai Lama, William Kelley is reincarnated with all knowledge of wine from his past lives. That is how he knows so much at such a young age. It shouldnāt surprise anyone that in a past life he was Dom PĆ©rignon. He was actually at the Last Supper, and while the Dead Sea Scrolls arenāt complete, itās believed he told Jesus, āThe innovative oakless Ć©levage really brought out the fruit, but I think it needs at least 15-30 years in the cellar for the tannins to integrate.ā
Youāre all really too kind! I donāt really know what to say, except thank you: reading this helped me get through my biannual visit to the dentist, which, as you will imagine, is no laughing matter for anyone who tastes as much Champagne as I do! Iāve always enjoyed participating here and Iām very flattered by all the kind words. 
Youāre crushing it on Instagram, keep those videos coming. Significantly more engaging than just about anything else Iāve seen. Maybe because Iām a dirty millenial.
They didnāt give you laughing gas?
Heās on it, this thread is a hallucination.
No, I just had a large Calvados 15 minutes before the appointment. Sometimes the old-fashioned solutions work the bestā¦
I was talking about age. About your comment asserting that William is a pup. I think Parker was about the same age or younger when he started the WA.
Was this any different from the rest of the time you spent in law school? [Well, maybe the travel was different.]
RP was about 31when he started the Wine Advocate (1978).
Seems pretty accurate for much of the Bordeaux being made today.
Stuff like this should go in a Top 10 Wineberserkers Posts of the Year 2020, and receive a Pulitzer prize for best online writing!
Like significantly better palates. Take that, Owlman.
Fu does, thatās for sure. I just cannot read any of his labels.
You still like big boozy wines. Must be a Texas thing.
Thank you, I needed a laugh. But I agree wholeheartedly; Kelly is a Wine mensch.